Are you tired of peering in the mirror and not liking your own
reflection?
Well,
Newtonize that Fat!
We have come up with an easy, new
way to loose weight, just Newtonize it! This weight loss program is based on the idea
of Newton’s fifth law of conservation. - Physicists really do make a
difference; their ideals, when used with our patented program, work towards
sculpting your tired and pudgy body into the sex magnet that you have always
wanted. The Newtonize program is a simple program that can
help you loose weight without requiring you to exercise or eat differently;
just take our pills!
Imagine being able to burn fat while
sprawling on the couch watching your favorite soap, or carpooling your kids to
school, or sitting in front of a computer screen. - You can!
Here’s how it works: Conservation of
energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; it is always in the
form of kinetic or potential energy.
Kinetic energy is the energy expelled when drudging around the track at
dawn while potential energy is stored energy: it’s energy just waiting to be
used. The Newtonize
program has found a way to ignite this potential energy to work for you!
Energy conservation is due to a
symmetry in time; that is, time is relative.
Your natural, plump body cannot tell in between two different
times. Just the difference between these
two times matters to nature. Energy and
shifts in time come hand in chubby hand, and by using the Newtonize
program you can make this relationship between energy and time shifts work for
you! If everything is shifted, then
energy is conserved and fat is burned.
Our program tricks your body into
using its potential, stored energy to burn fat.
Rather than making you sweat, work, or diet for your trim, beautiful
body, the Newtonize program has found a
way to make your potential energy quit waiting and start working. The Newtonize program transforms your body’s
energy and, in turn, your body.
If you would like the Newtonize program starter packet of three months of
pills for just $59.99, please call 1 (800) BURN FAT. Call within the next week and we will throw
in a free subscription to Soap Opera Digest and measuring tape.
This product is not approved of by the FDA. Nursing or pregnant mothers should not use this product. In fact, if you are thinking about having a child in the future, you should not use this product. The Newtonize program is not responsible for any medical complications arising from this product.